Ten Differences between Mathematicians and Writers

I began a PhD in mathematics and for several years was immersed in the mathematical world.

• There is no such thing as chick-math.
• People don’t feel more qualified to talk about mathematics the more alcohol they have drunk.
• 0.000% of mathematicians have started their career by being journalist for a Sunday tabloid.
• Some mathematicians are good-looking but it doesn’t make their work better.
• When a mathematician submits a paper he doesn’t reveal in an attached bio that his parents were alcoholics and that Liam Neeson once stayed in the house.
• I have been to talks by famous mathematicans aimed at aspiring mathematicians, but they never had the title: “IT COULD BE YOU.“
• The only smooth operator a mathematician has to deal with is a C infinity function on a manifold.
• The two letters I ever sent to mathematicians got replies.
• I once met a mathematics publisher. He did not keep repeating “Quality is the number one factor” in an earnest tone.
• When a mathematician reads this he’ll think: “Witty and to-the-point.” When a writer reads it he’ll smirk and think: “Yeah, he’s bitter.”